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Name: MountaiN PiG
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Member Since: 10/25/2006

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Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Finally realising...

Having thinking for many days ro I should say months.

Finally this morning, I ironed out my thoughts! I dont miss him at all, all that I miss is the love and care that he showered me with, the fun that we had.

I know what I want and what I wanna do now, but do you?


Friday, November 21, 2008

Ophelia Drowns

Ophelia_Drowns

Ophelia is a character created by William Shakespeare who appears in his play, Hamlet. The story of Hamlet is tragic--  it is one of intrigue, deception, madness, death and suicide. Ophelia's role, even though she is a minor character in the play, is particularly haunting. Ophelia is in love with Hamlet, a young and emotionally tormented prince, who was once loving to Ophelia, yet has suddenly become abusive and cold. Ophelia clings to the memory of Hamlet once treating her with respect and tenderness, and she defends him and loves him to the very end despite his brutality and developing manic madness. As the play unfolds, Hamlet spirals into a full-blown psychotic manic episode.

Having a shaky adolescent identity and low-self esteem, Ophelia lives to please the men in her life, who never seem to accept her or love her in return. Ophelia's emotional frailty and young innocence work against her, as she cannot cope with the unfolding of one traumatic event after another, which all seem to center around the men in her life, including her father, who forcibly prostitutes her. The final straw is when Hamlet both rejects her and cruelly humiliates her after she has been sexually intimate with him. Hamlet mocks the fact that Ophelia is sexually experienced, and goes as far as to say that he never loved her. Ophelia's character shows nothing but loving kindness to Hamlet throughout each scene. 

Unable to cope with Hamlet's rejection and abusive cruelties, she ultimately falls into a dissociative state and wanders to a river, collecting flowers, singing love songs, where ultimately she drowns herself after adorning her hair with flowers symbolic of her relationship with Hamlet:

There's rosemary, that's for remembrance. 
Pray you, love remember. 
And there is pansies, that's for thoughts. 

There's fennel for you, and
columbines. There's rue for you,
and here's some for me. We may call it
herb of grace o' Sundays.
O, you must wear your rue with a 
difference! There's a daisy. I 
would give you some violets, but they
wither'd all when my father
died. They say he made a good end.
And of all Christian souls, I pray God.
God b' wi', you. 

~ Ophelia 
 Hamlet Prince of Denmark 



Just like i wish, if i had the courage ~


Thursday, November 13, 2008

Working..

have been very very busy nowadays, just started work in National cancer center on tues :)
so leave me a message if you need..

Anyway, heard that Lance is back :)


Sunday, October 19, 2008

Major depression AGAIN!

I know many people care about me, but stop telling me to stop zi bi or stop thinking or acting in those ways. This does not help , in fact it only worsten it. It's not what i can control! if depression sufferer can control their own feeling, they are not called DEPRESSED!



Thursday, October 09, 2008

Searching my true self...

Today didnt work, went out with mum the whole day. Had Long john for lunch at tamp and then went to airport again..was asked to workin woodlands in the morning, but wasnt feeling well the previous 2 nite, so decided I shall rest..

Juz now been thinking throughout my bath, am I really depress or am I faking it and making myself miserable? if I'm faking it, how can i explain my panick attacks, my insomnia and my suicidal thoughts? or am I bipolar and now i'm just going through some "exciting" episode which make me "happy" and "full of confidence"?

in front of mum or anyone, i'm like happy and nothing.. but why am i feeling just down n miserable deep within? so what exactly am i feeling? or what exactly should I feel? am I faking the unhappiness to make as though it's everyone else's fault? 

Why am I asking so much question? Where's the real me? 



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